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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29850459">if i can dream long enough (you’d tell me i’d be just fine)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/comebackbehere/pseuds/comebackbehere'>comebackbehere</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, but i kinda like it???, idk what this is</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:27:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,791</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29850459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/comebackbehere/pseuds/comebackbehere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Carina goes missing. The next forty eight hours go by faster than Maya can grasp onto.</p><p>or</p><p>the way i was hoping 4x06 would go, but definitely know it won’t.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Atticus Lincoln/Amelia Shepherd, Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>196</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>if i can dream long enough (you’d tell me i’d be just fine)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: I really wrote this on a whim, and I’m not entirely in love with it but I adore the concept. I hope y’all enjoy it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em>Hour One</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Maya Bishop tosses her jacket on the back of the coach and glances to the clock; Carina will be home soon and she can finally put this day behind her. All she needs is a glass of wine and the woman she loves.</p><p> </p><p>So, she waits.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Two</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Carina still isn’t home.</p><p> </p><p>Maya doesn’t worry too much, she’s more concerned about Miller and Sullivan at this point. She doesn’t think anything of it when her call goes straight to voicemail or her texts go unread, she knows Carina is a busy woman.</p><p> </p><p>So, she waits.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Three</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sir. Thank you. Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya is all wide eyes as Andy hangs up, “So?”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re releasing the boys in a couple of hours, they should be out by seven.” Andy sighs as she rubs tiredly at her brow. “Vic said her and Travis will be there to pick up Miller.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want me to go with you get Sullivan? I don’t mind.” Maya shrugs as she glances at her watch. “Well, that actually depends on when Carina gets here.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s okay. You haven’t seen her in two days, I can manage without you.” Andy assures her with a wave of her hand. </p><p> </p><p>Maya arches an eyebrow, “Are you sure? I’m sure Carina…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure Carina wants to sleep.” Andy cuts in with a dry chuckle. “I really appreciate it, but you two don’t need to come. There’s no point. Robert is already going to be embarrassed enough.”</p><p> </p><p>“The <em> department </em> should be the one’s who are embarrassed.” Maya sneers. “They arrested two firefighters. Two of the <em> best.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Andy shakes her head, “And we all know why.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s...I can’t even form words.” Maya admits with another glance to her wrist. “This day has been absolutely <em> ridiculous</em>. I’m gonna call Carina and see how far out she is, maybe she’ll swing by a shop and grab us a pizza.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ooh, or maybe she’ll make it for us.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t invite you to live with us so you could use my girlfriend as your personal chef.” Maya scoffs as she grabs her phone. “She may be God sent, but I’m not having her come home from working an insane shift just to cook for us.”</p><p> </p><p>Andy huffs, “She would if we asked.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like I said, God sent.” Maya sings as she listens to the rings on the other line. “I swear if she is still at work…”</p><p> </p><p>“Another shift?” Andy frowns.</p><p> </p><p>Maya scowls as the phone goes to voicemail, “I know she feels guilty about this virus and how many lives she’s lost, but she’s running herself into the ground.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maya Bishop, do you actually <em> care </em> that someone is a workaholic?” Andy gaps. “I thought that trait would mean soulmate material.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh hardy har. You’re so funny.” Maya drawls with a sarcastic smirk. “As a matter of fact, I <em> do </em>care because she’s the woman I love. The thought of her hurting makes me sick.”</p><p> </p><p>Andy smiles warmly, “Love looks good on you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You think?” Maya asks shyly, and she tenses as her doorbell sounds loudly. “I swear that if this is her, I’m <em> sewing </em>that key to her hand.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds violent.” Andy snorts.</p><p> </p><p>Maya laughs but it quickly dies away when she swings the door open and sees Amelia Shepherd standing before her with Link at her side. She is familiar with Amelia, but only just barely. They’ve traded a few words here and there, but their real connection is Carina. Amelia is Carina’s best friend and someone she absolutely adores, and because of that Maya doesn’t mind the quirky surgeon. She doesn’t know Amelia well, but it wouldn’t take a profiler to notice the obvious worry and devastation that is splashed across Amelia’s features. Maya assumes she invites them in, but she can’t be sure because everything seems to be moving in slow motion; she notices Link and she sees him move to Andy, duck his head and begin whispering.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on?” Maya frowns.</p><p> </p><p>“Maya…”</p><p> </p><p>Maya furrows her brow, “Amelia?”</p><p> </p><p>“You got a minute?” Amelia murmurs as she looks away from Maya’s wide eyes. “You’re gonna wanna sit down.”</p><p> </p><p>“What? Why…?”</p><p> </p><p>Andy looks away from where she is whispering with Link, “Maya, you’re really going to need to sit down for this.”</p><p> </p><p>“No. What the hell is going on?” Maya demands as she looks between the trio. “Somebody needs to start talking. Who died?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s Carina.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya stumbles back, “She’s…?”</p><p> </p><p>“No! <em> Fuck</em>. No.” Amelia sighs as she rubs at her brow and meets Maya’s gaze. “Carina. She’s missing.”</p><p> </p><p>The world seems to vanish from beneath her as the words process. The air is suddenly too thick to process, her lungs feel too tight. One second she’s standing and the next the room is shifting, and hands are on her and she can hear someone speaking but she can’t say exactly who it is. The same pair of hands help her sit and her body feels too heavy as she slides down the wall, as a gentle touch guides her head between her knees and a strong voice orders her to breathe. But she can’t. How can she? How is she supposed to function right now?</p><p> </p><p>“Missing? Missing from what?” Maya gasps.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s...kind of confusing.” Link warns with an apologetic grimace. “Meredith is trying to get everything out of DeLuca.”</p><p> </p><p>Andy shakes her head, “Her brother?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Turns out he took it upon himself to go be a goddamn hero and Carina got caught up in the middle of it.” Amelia grumbles, and she flinches away as Link glances to her. “Everyone is treating him like he’s made of glass, it’s ridiculous.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s manic…” Link offers.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t <em> care</em>.” Amelia snaps, but she’s quick to relax as she regards Maya. “He’s talking to the police as we speak.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is this…?” Maya trails off as she shakes her head to clear her thoughts. “Is this a patient who has her? An angry patient or something?”</p><p> </p><p>Amelia trades a look with Link, “No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then who?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maya…” Amelia begins.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Who</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“A sex trafficker.” Amelia spills out.</p><p> </p><p>Just like that, the world stops spinning.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Seven</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Andrew is surrounded by people when Maya slams into his hospital room, and they instantly part to give her space when she appears. Her jaw clenches as she stares at the expression on his face, the innocence and sadness shining bright. An annoyance boils low in her gut as she sees him fidget, notices how his eyes flicker throughout the room. She’s livid, the anger stays just below where it needs to be and she feels like it could spill out at any moment. Her jaw clenches as she pauses at the end of his hospital bed, her hands curl into fists as she feels her chest heaving.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you <em> do</em>?” Maya growls.</p><p> </p><p>Bailey steps forward, “Maya.”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Maya snarls, and her words are just above a whisper. “This is <em> his </em> fault so I want to hear it from <em> him</em>. What did you do?”</p><p> </p><p>“I-I didn’t think…”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course you didn’t or we wouldn’t be in this mess. Your sister wouldn’t be <em> missing</em>.” Maya sneers. “So, tell me what happened.”</p><p> </p><p>Andrew recaps the events of the afternoon, spares no detail as he tells Maya everything. Her knees grow weaker as each word leaves his mouth, and she wants nothing more than to run. Run away from this, run away from the truth. She can feel Andy lingering just behind her, her presence calm and comforting. She notices Amelia hanging by outside the room with a slew of doctors behind her; she sees the worry, she knows how much they care for Carina. But they can’t possibly feel what she is, there’s no way any of them feel this breathless.</p><p> </p><p>Maya paces slowly, “Walk me through it again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maya…”</p><p> </p><p>“I said <em> again</em>.” Maya snarls as she shoots Andy a look. “How is it that my girlfriend was on her way home to me less than three hours ago and now she’s missing?”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s been through this with the police and you, he needs to rest.” Bailey offers in a calm tone as she regards Andrew. “Give him some time and you can…”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine.” Andrew cuts in. “I’ll tell her again.”</p><p> </p><p>So, he does. He starts from the moment he noticed the woman in the parking lot and ends when he woke up in that abandoned apartment. Maya listens and feels the tears well in her eyes, but she refuses to let them fall. She can’t cry right now because that means she’s accepting defeat and she won’t do that when it comes to Carina. She will never give up on her girlfriend. Her blue eyes snap to Andrew and she sees his head fall back on the pillow before he sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed. Maya circles the bed, meets his gaze again as he lifts his head to look at her.</p><p> </p><p>“I have a life, Andrea. That’s what she said to me.” Andrew mumbles, his expression blank. “I have a beautiful woman who is expecting me home and instead I’m here with you. I chose you. Do not imply I’m never on your side.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya swallows hard, “And then what?”</p><p> </p><p>“The woman she just...she kept saying I was <em> lying</em>. She said it was all in my head.” Andrew sneers. “She just kept <em> talking</em>, and I...and I snapped. I let my guard down and I didn’t see that there were other people with her.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did Carina? Did she notice?” Maya demands.</p><p> </p><p>Andrew hangs his head, “Not till it was too late. She kept...I heard her screaming for me, right before they knocked me out. And when I came to, she was gone.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya stares at him, “Just like that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Andrew whispers. “Just like that.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya feels a sick sense of satisfaction the moment her knuckles explode in pain after skimming across the sharp edges of Andrew’s teeth. A groan escapes her mouth as she curls away from him, looks away as his tongue darts out to trace the cut on his lip and pull blood into his mouth. It isn’t enough. His blood may have been shed, but it doesn’t make up for the fact that he’s the reason her girlfriend is missing. It doesn’t stop the ache from settling in her gut, twisting until it has completely taken over every sense she has.</p><p> </p><p>“This is your fault.” Maya snarls.</p><p> </p><p>Bailey slides between them, “You need to leave.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya allows Andy to pull her back, “If anything happens to her…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Maya. I’m so sorry.” Andrew whispers.</p><p> </p><p>The doctors clear a path for her as she leaves the room and she moves to the wall and presses her hands against it, breathes out heavily through her nose. This is real. This is happening. She keeps expecting Carina to appear with that lopsided smile, keeps expecting hands to reach out and soothe her. But the only hands that reach for her are those that belong to her best friend. Andy rests a protective hand on her shoulder and gives it a firm squeeze. Just like that, Maya melts and she turns to slide down the wall and waits for Andy to match her position.</p><p> </p><p>“Maya, hey.” Andy coos. “It’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not.” Maya scoffs, her laugh is bitter and dry as she glares ahead. “It is so far past okay right now, Andy.”</p><p> </p><p>Just like that, the dam breaks and the tears come.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Twelve</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya can’t find Carina. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She’s lapped around the grocery store four times and still hasn’t caught sight of her girlfriend. Of course, the worry weighs in the pit of her stomach. She can’t help it. It’s her job to imagine worst case scenarios and then fix them. In her head, Carina is somewhere she shouldn’t be and Maya is desperate to find her. After what seems like forever, Maya notices the red fleece of her girlfriend’s jacket and she blows out a sigh of relief and skids the corner to reach her. As soon as she’s close enough, Maya curls her arms around Carina’s waist and settles her cheek against her shoulder blade. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “There you are.” Carina hums. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya laughs against her shoulder, “Here I am? I’ve been looking for you for fifteen minutes. I thought I lost you.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Never.” Carina replies as she turns to smile down at Maya. “But if you did? What if you just couldn’t find me? What would you do?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya shrugs, “I’d just keep looking.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Maya?”</p><p> </p><p>Maya glances up at the unfamiliar face, “Uh. Hi?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m Jo. Jo Wilson.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” Maya frowns. “You know Carina?”</p><p> </p><p>Jo smiles warmly, “Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is DeLuca okay?” Maya asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you really care?” Jo hums.</p><p> </p><p>Maya snorts, “Not really.”</p><p> </p><p>“He wanted someone to come check on you. He’s worried.” Jo admits. “Do you mind if I join you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Knock yourself out.” Maya mumbles.</p><p> </p><p>Jo lowers herself into the chair beside Maya’s, “I’ll admit, I don’t know Carina as well as some of the others in this hospital. But I do know she’s a good person.”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s amazing.” Maya scoffs.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, that this has happened to her. She doesn’t deserve it.” Jo offers as she ducks her head. “No one does.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s...<em> Carina</em>.” Maya whispers. “She’s never hurt a single person in her life, she doesn’t know <em> how</em>. She apologizes to the goddamn wall when she bumps into it. She’s <em> good</em>. She’s so good. So, why did it have to be her?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know.” Jo sighs. “I...I wish I had a better answer for you, but I don’t. Sometimes bad things happen to good people.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya shakes her head, “I promised I’d always find her. No matter what.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I’m sure they’re fine.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya glances to Andy, “We’ve just allowed Vic, Travis, and Carina to wander off by themselves and they’re all drunk, I don’t see anything fine about this.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Andy chuckles, “Touché.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “How far up the street did they go?” Maya huffs as she stands on the tips of her toes. “They had their masks, right?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Yeah.” Andy nods as she squints. “Is that Vic?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya follows Andy’s line of sight and sighs heavily, “Yes. And that’s my girlfriend on Travis’s shoulder trying to take a neon sign.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Picked a winner, Bishop.” Andy smirks. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I sure did.” Maya mumbles. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She can make out the sound of Carina chattering away to Travis, switching quickly from Italian to English as she slaps his head. Beside them, Vic is jumping up and down, yanking her mask down and shouting excitedly at the pair. Maya knows she’s supposed to feel annoyance and embarrassment, but instead she just feels absolute adoration. She looks at her girlfriend, laughing so carefree and wildly, and just falls in love with the woman all over again. By the time they reach the trio, Carina is yanking on the neon sign with a pout. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “What are you doing?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Bella!” Carina exclaims. “Look what I found!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Hey, we found it as a group.” Vic huffs as she gestures between them. “So, therefore we get group custody.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya tiredly rubs at her brow and heaves a long sigh, “Montgomery, get my girlfriend off your shoulders.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “You got it, cap.” Travis chirps. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Carina tumbles into her as soon as her feet are safely on the ground, “You found me.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I told you I would.” Maya chuckles as she helps steady Carina’s weight. “Although I didn’t think I’d find you participating in illegal activities.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I would like that sign.” Carina hiccups. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I’m sure you would, babe.” Maya smiles. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Carina! Second round! Go!” Vic yells. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Carina perks up excitedly, “Go!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “What? No!” Maya protests for all of two seconds as Carina slips from her arms. “This is so not how I planned my night going.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Andy slaps her shoulder softly, “Travis told me where they’re planning to hide. Come on.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya shakes her head and follows Andy in search of her girlfriend. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“...be okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya blinks away from the memory, “I’m sorry?”</p><p> </p><p>“I was just saying that I can’t promise anything, but Carina has a fire in her.” Jo assures her. “I’ve been through some stuff too, and I know she’ll be just as strong as I was.”</p><p> </p><p>“She is strong.” Maya hums with a small smile of sadness. “She’s the strongest person I know, and I just...she has to be okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Jo rests a careful hand on her shoulder, “She’s going to come home, she’s going to be okay. I’m not in the business of making promises, but I think this time I can.”</p><p> </p><p>“I should be out looking for her…”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Jo frowns with a shake of her head. “You can’t do anything that the law can’t, you’re better off just waiting.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya smiles ruefully, “But I’m good at finding her.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya has gotten used to a lot of things when it comes to living with Carina. Most of it was hard to adapt to, but the warmth her girlfriend brought to her home is something she’s become utterly obsessed with. A sense of peace washes over her as she soon as she walks through the front door and hears the distant sound of a jazz singer crooning. With an arch of her eyebrow, Maya drops her bag and moves to wash her hands as she listens closely for Carina. Normally, her girlfriend is camped out on the kitchen but she sees no sign that her kitchen has been put through the ringer. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Marco!” Maya calls as she moves through the living room. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Who is Marco?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya laughs softly as she turns into the bedroom and pokes her head into the closet,  “Why do I have to spend so much time hunting you down? And hunting you down in our home? Not fun.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Carina smiles up at her, “Welcome home, bella.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “What are you doing?” Maya frowns as she leans down, and Carina ducks away. “I showered and wiped down before coming home. Give me my kiss, woman.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Oh?” Carina purrs as she tilts her head. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya is overwhelmed by how her heart races the second her lips meet Carina. Time has done nothing to change the way her body reacts to the woman before her, the way her soul practically craves her. Her fingers slips softly over the dimple in Carina’s cheek and carefully pushes a strand of hair behind her ear as she pulls away to flash a soft smile. With a hum, Carina presses a peck to her lips and goes back to carefully folding the items in her lap. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya drops beside her, “What are you doing?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Going through my clothes.” Carina replies. “I want to donate to the hospital. Amelia is gathering things for shelter taking in women and children for Covid testing.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “That’s awesome, babe.” Maya nods as she looks at her own clothes. “I think I’ve got some stuff I can spare.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Carina snorts, “You do. I’ve already put a pile aside for you to go through.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Wait. What?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Your clothes are…” Carina trails off and scrunches her nose. “I kept all the stuff that you really like.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maya gaps, “You don’t like all my clothes?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No.” Carina replies without hesitation. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> With a scoff, Maya carefully launches herself at Carina and her girlfriend falls backward with a giggle of delight. Maya falls into Carina with ease, disappears into her touch; and all the bad of the day goes away, and she’s home. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Just give it some time.” Jo soothes. “And if you really want answers, go talk to the detectives handling her case.”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s my home.” Maya whispers as she pulls her knees to her chest. “I just...I just want her back, I want to go home.”</p><p> </p><p>Jo is silent, and Maya is thankful for it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Fifteen</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>The first forty eight hours a person is missing are the most crucial. Maya knows this, has heard it on countless choppy law shows and was taught it later on during her budding career. The first two days are when they have no time to waste, not a single stone can go unturned. So, Maya is a little confused by the calmness of the station she’s standing in. How can these officers be walking around like a bright Italian light isn’t missing? Like Maya’s whole world hasn’t been shut down and left to burn. How can everyone be so calm, so collected?</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me? I’m here for some…”</p><p> </p><p>The woman behind the desk holds up a finger to silence her, “Give me a few minutes and I’ll be right with you, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Wow. Rude.” Vic scoffs from behind her.</p><p> </p><p>Andy sets a hand on her shoulder, “Come on. Let’s go sit down and I’ll grab you a coffee. We’ll come check back in a few.”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Maya hisses as she shrugs the touch away lightly. “I want answers. I want to talk to the cops that spoke with Carina’s brother, I want to know what’s going on.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll speak to them soon. They’re busy. Come on.” Andy orders as she nods towards the lobby nearby. “Look, I’ll even have Vic make your coffee so it doesn’t suck.”</p><p> </p><p>Vic scrunches her nose, “Don’t get too excited, they only have slush here.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t <em> want </em>to sit down, and I certainly don’t want any coffee.” Maya sneers. “Like I said, I want answers and I’m going to get them. So, get off me.”</p><p> </p><p>Andy holds her hands up in surrender and instead trails behind Maya as she approaches the desk again, “Maya…”</p><p> </p><p>“I need to speak to the detectives handling my girlfriend’s case.” Maya declares. “I don’t know who they are, but her name is Carina. They spoke to her brother earlier.”</p><p> </p><p>The woman frowns, “I’m on a call.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t care.” Maya spits through gritted teeth.</p><p> </p><p>“I said…”</p><p> </p><p>Maya cuts the woman off with a sharp slam of her fist against the desk. The noise is barely heard over the ruckus of the station, but it startles the receptionist into a quick bout of silence. The anger pushes through her system, colors her cheeks with a red blush and has her eyes widening in an expression that borderlines on crazy. She feels like she’s losing her mind; it’s been fifteen hours and she knows next to nothing about what’s happening with the case, and Andrew is just as far in the dark as she is. She needs answers, and she intends to get them one way or another.</p><p> </p><p>“My girlfriend is missing.” Maya snaps as she leans forward on the counter. “She’s out there with God knows who and I know <em> nothing</em>. So, put your goddamn phone down and help me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ma’am…”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s the love of my life.” Maya rushes out. “I-I barely have started my life with her, I just got her. <em> Please.</em> I’m not asking for a lot, I’m just asking for you to find the detectives taking care of Carina DeLuca’s case.”</p><p> </p><p>The receptionist softens subtly, “Okay, honey. Give me a minute and lemme see who’s been assigned to it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” Maya whispers.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Sixteen</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>They don’t give her much to go on; they assure her that they’re doing everything they can. They tell her to be patient. They ask her questions about Carina, and she gives mumbled answers. They tell her to be strong, to hold on. But Maya can’t be sure what she’s supposed to hold onto. Reality? Hope? Both seem pointless at this stage. After a fifteen minute conversation, they excuse themselves to follow a lead. She’s left with just as many unanswered questions as she came in with. She feels emptier than she did previously. The defeat falls heavy on her as she follows Vic and Andy from the station.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re going to find her.” Vic whispers.</p><p> </p><p>Maya swallows hard, “I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go home.” Andy offers.</p><p> </p><p>“Home isn’t home without her.” Maya mutters.</p><p> </p><p>But she still follows them to the car and sits in the backseat with an expression of slight fear and wonder. She sits down when they get back to the house and barely sips at the tea Vic puts down in front of her, and she doesn’t even touch the sandwich that Andy makes. Instead, she wanders off to her bedroom and crawls into her bed and waits. She makes sure her phone is turned on and charged, and buries her face in Carina’s pillow and resides herself to wait.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Seventeen</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>There’s no news. </p><p> </p><p>Maya decides to go for a run.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Nineteen</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Maya comes home to half of her team in her living room, and she can see it on their faces that something has happened. Immediately, her attention falls to Andy and her best friend approaches her hesitantly. The air in the room feels thick and Maya steadies herself, tries to heighten herself in anticipation to the blow that Andy is about to deliver. It can’t be that Carina is gone, Maya would know. She would <em> feel </em>it. She would’ve felt her heart leave her chest, she would’ve felt her lungs collapse. But she’s still here and she’s still breathing so that has to mean that Carina is too.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re searching databases.” Andy breathes out with a grimace. “They told DeLuca that their best shot of finding her is seeing if...if looking to see if she…”</p><p> </p><p>Maya nods as Andy trails off, “They think she’s going to be put up for sale.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a possibility.” Andy whispers.</p><p> </p><p>The words rotate and shift through her mind, leak into her veins. She allows the idea to sit in the pit of her stomach and fester. It can’t be real, it can’t be <em> true. </em>There’s no way that the woman she loves has been subjected to that kind of torture, there’s no way that Carina is in that much danger. The thought that she’ll never see her girlfriend again, never get to live out the life they talked about, has her clothes sticking a little tighter to her and she can feel the room slowly closing in around her.</p><p> </p><p>“I need to shower.” Maya whispers.</p><p> </p><p>“Maya…”</p><p> </p><p>“I said I need to shower.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya leaves and barely makes it into her bedroom before her knees give out, and she isn’t surprised when arms surround her and Andy holds her close.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Twenty</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Maya sleeps and dreams.</p><p> </p><p>Dreams of nothing but Carina; bloody and broken.</p><p> </p><p>Maya wakes and stays that way, at least in reality Carina is still whole and beautiful and <em> alive;</em> and Maya needs her to be that way forever.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Twenty Two</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Maya knows the moment Carina is found.</p><p> </p><p>It’s made through a call at their station and she’s up and out bed before Andy can call her name. Some of her team is on shift, and the other part of it is haphazardly tossing on jackets and digging for masks as they sleepily rush to the door. Maya couldn’t tell you who else gets in her car besides Vic, her friend is throwing herself into the passenger seat with a scowl of worry. Travis calls orders of directions from the backseat and Miller grumbles tiredly beside him while Andy is smashed between them. She’s thankful they’re here, even if she can’t find it in herself to verbally say it out loud.</p><p> </p><p>Her gaze shifts to the rearview mirror and Andy gives her a comforting nod, a nod that assures her everything is going to be okay. It helps. But only a little. Because Maya knows it isn’t going to be okay, not really. How can it be? This is the worst possible outcome of a situation that never should’ve happened. The knowledge of it makes her hands tighten around her steering wheel and her jaw flexes subtly. She can’t get mad, she can’t be mad right now because it won’t fix. anything. So, Maya reverts back to old habits and repeats a familiar mantra in her head over and over until it blurs into nothing.</p><p> </p><p>Eyes forward. Eyes forward until she has the woman she loves back in her arms.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Twenty Three</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>There’s not much to the scene, nothing that really stands out to her. It feels like she’s waking up from a nightmare, from the sweat that is beaded on her forehead to the hammering of her heart. She sees a woman being escorted to a police car in handcuffs and she turns towards her but a firm hand on her shoulder from Vic has her pausing. A growl leaves her as the woman is ducked into the car and she turns on her heel to see Jack coming out of the house, the man removing his helmet and brushing a hand through his messy hair. With a sudden burst of energy, Maya is starting towards him with one goal in mind.</p><p> </p><p>Jack goes wide eyed, “Maya…”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s in there?” Maya demands as he catches her biceps in a firm grasp. “Tell me, Jack. Is she in there?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” Jack nods. “But you can’t go in there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like hell. <em> Move.</em>” Maya growls as she shrugs his touch off, but he’s quick to reach for her again and steady her. “No! Stand down, Gibson!”</p><p> </p><p>Jack holds her shoulder steady, “Maya.”</p><p> </p><p>The way he says her name makes her sick to her stomach as she meets his strong gaze, sees the horror in his eyes. It causes her knees to go weak and she pitches forward into his arms and releases a sob. Jack is strong, sometimes even stoic, but this is Carina and she can see that whatever he saw in there has him shaken to the core. Jack holds her close and attempts to soothe her, she feels his arms curl strongly around her and hold her steady to reality. Somehow it’s over, after all of the searching it’s come down to a rundown house in the middle of absolute nowhere.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s okay.” Jack assures her.</p><p> </p><p>Maya pushes at his chest, “Where is she?”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re bringing her out now. She’s a little...they hit her.” Jack warns. “She’s covered in blood and she’s bruised, but she’s alive.”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s alive?” Maya demands breathlessly.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s alive.” Jack assures her.</p><p> </p><p>Maya glances up as she sees a gurney being moved quickly to an ambulance, “Oh God.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya barely makes it to Carina’s side before her knees give out, and she uses the stretcher to hold herself upright as she looks her girlfriend over. There’s too much blood, and the dark bruise marring Carina’s features makes her heart ache. Carina looks at her and Maya feels her heart completely shatter when her features crumple and she sobs in relief. Maya doesn’t want to touch her, afraid she’ll somehow hurt her more. Her hands hover hesitantly over Carina’s body until she gives in and settles one on her abdomen and the other gently cups the bruised cheek that Carina immediately flinches.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re okay.” Maya hums as she brushes a hand over blood matted hair. “You’re okay, baby. I’m right here.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina’s lower lip wobbles, “I <em> hurt</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya finally releases a sob, “I know. I know you do, baby. I’m so sorry. We’re going to get you to Grey Sloan and they’ll fix you, okay? They’ll fix you up and you’ll never hurt again.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t give up.” Carina whispers.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, babe.” Maya soothes. “I’m so proud of you.”</p><p> </p><p>“We need to move.” The paramedic calls.</p><p> </p><p>Maya nods and drags a hand over her damp cheeks, “Let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p>She holds tight to Carina’s hand and refuses to let go; she just got her back and she can’t part with her now. Her lips spread kisses along soft skin as she breathes Carina in and watches the way her eyes flutter tiredly. She’s here, and she’s alive. And that’s enough for now.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Twenty Seven</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>They whisk Carina away immediately.</p><p> </p><p>Maya paces through a private waiting room; she knows she should be with her waiting teammates and Carina’s friends, but she just needs a moment. She needs time. As time slips by, Amelia finally peeks her head in and the sight of her makes her stomach drop. Amelia flashes her that look of sympathy and Maya steadies herself, sucks in a breath as she tries to prepare herself. The silence of the room is eating away at her and she begins to slowly pace through the space as Amelia closes the door behind herself.</p><p> </p><p>“Just tell me.” Maya hisses.</p><p> </p><p>Amelia eyes her, “She consented to a rape kit.”</p><p> </p><p>The nausea hits Maya square in the gut and curls up the length of her throat; try as she might, she twists and flexes her jaw until the acid burns strong along her tastebuds. The sound of the contents of her stomach hitting the tiles is loud in the otherwise silent room, and Amelia does nothing more than take a step back and watch on in sympathy. Maya presses her hands to her knees and pants heavily as she squeezes her eyes shut; she’s never had a weak stomach, couldn’t afford to with her childhood and later on her career, but there was no way she could swallow things down this time around.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you need…?”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Maya cuts in. “Just tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>Amelia crosses the room to grab a cup and fills it with water, “Like I said, she gave consent and there was no trauma. She also said nothing of that matter happened.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank God.” Maya breathes out.</p><p> </p><p>“She obviously has head trauma, and four broken ribs on her left side,” Amelia lists as she offers Maya the water. “Her left femur is fractured as well, and the socket on her right eye is hairlined. Mostly she’s just exhausted.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya nods, “What now?”</p><p> </p><p>“Honestly, I don’t know.” Amelia admits. “We help her get through this.”</p><p> </p><p>“How?” Maya scoffs.</p><p> </p><p>“Therapy. Patience. Time.” Amelia offers.</p><p> </p><p>Maya shakes her head, “Why her?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know.” Amelia whispers as she looks away from the other woman. “But we’re going to make her better, we’re going to fix this. I’ll be there every step of the way.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” Maya nods.</p><p> </p><p>“Anything for her.” Amelia shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>Maya smiles finally because she can relate to Amelia’s words; she’ll do anything to get Carina through this, and it’s nice to know there will be people beside her and in her corner.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Twenty Eight</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Maya wonders how she ever took comfort in places like this; white walls, the smell of disinfectant, the rush of urgent footsteps. It usually makes her feel calm, steady but it just feels empty now. Her stomach flips every time she spots a white coat, even if the ones wearing them are people she’s shared a drink and laugh with. With a harsh sigh, Maya closes her eyes and remembers how easy life was just two days ago; she had Carina and that was more than enough, they were okay. The thought that the morning they spent together was almost the last one makes the acid in her stomach coil, makes her throat bob in an effort to release <em> something.</em>The thoughts cause her chest to seize, a wave of panic washes over her and she lets out a soft gasp as tears trail down her cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>Amelia and Link have joined the party camped out waiting for Carina. The familiar face of Jo pops up to fuss over the group, she bustles in and out with coffees and reassurance. Maya hasn’t touched her own cup, the liquid has gone completely cold by now. No one is speaking, they’re just staring, staring at nothing with pale, worried faces. They’re more than thrilled that Carina is home, but there’s no telling what kind of damage has been done to her mentally. The team filters in and out, too afraid to leave their captain; Andy and Vic refuse to even get up and go to the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>Maya blows out a strong breath and stands to walk over to the wall, her hands pressing hard against it. The sheer terror of the past twenty eight hours hit her, and she can feel the panic setting it. She takes deep, shuddering breaths and each one is a struggle, as though invisible hands are wrapped tightly around her neck. But then two real hands are there, squeezing her shoulders until she relaxes subtly and she is turned into a strong embrace.</p><p> </p><p>“It’ll be okay. She’s going to be okay.” Jack soothes. </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t lose her, I can’t be without her.”</p><p> </p><p>“You won’t have to be, she’s okay…”</p><p> </p><p>“Everything was going so good.” Maya sniffles as she pulls away from him. “We were so happy, it’s like the world just won’t give me a break.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya wanders back to her seat, and rests her head in her hands and tries to keep herself from crying. If she starts, she doesn’t think she’ll be able to truly stop. All she wants is to see Carina. To feel her. But all she can do is wait, and that’s what she resides herself to do.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Twenty Nine</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>It feels like hours before she’s allowed to see Carina. Hours of pacing. Hours of deep breathing. Hours of weak coffee. Hours until Amelia leads her down the hall, until she latches onto Andy who grabs Vic and forces them to go with her. She can’t do this alone. She doesn’t want to. A sob builds in her throat as Amelia pauses at the door, and she turns away from the sight of her girlfriend. The top portion of the bed is raised and in the middle, looking oddly tiny, Carina is peacefully laid out. It’s such a cruel illusion, the woman looks like she hasn’t been put through absolute hell.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t see her like this.” Maya whispers as she rubs at her brow. “Look at her. She looks so...<em> fuck. </em>How could this happen?”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s stronger than she looks.” Amelia assures her with a hard swallow. “I know it’s not her best look, but she’s going to be okay. Physically.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya allows the words to soak in, and she knows Amelia is right. Carina is strong, one of the strongest people she’s ever met. Carina will pull through this, and things will somehow go back to normal. The thought sparks the barest hint of hope in her, reminds her that right now <em> she </em>needs to be the strength that helps Carina back to her feet. With a nod, Maya moves to the side of Carina’s bed and lifts the hand that isn’t currently wrapped in a cast. Her touch is gentle as she slides their palms together, and she finds comfort in the warm skin that rests against her own as she brushes her thumb over the top of Carina’s knuckles.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, baby. I’m right here.” Maya whispers as she drops her head to graze a kiss over Carina’s hairline. “You’re going to be okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Andy clears her throat, “Have the police been by?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, they spoke to her while we were stitching her up.” Amelia nods. “She gave enough of a statement that they gave her the okay to come down to the station once she’s healed up.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya listens as Vic goes on a tangent about the things she’d like to do to the people responsible for Carina’s physical damage; she hears some of it, but most of it fades to the background. All her attention is focused on Carina, focused on the gentle dip of her brow and the way her nose twitches subtly while she sleeps. Her thumb continues to brush over Carina’s knuckles, and she wonders where her girlfriend’s ring is; it means too much to Carina, it’s one of the last pieces of her mother she has. Maya makes a note to find it before Carina wakes up, and then she looks up as Vic trails off and huffs.</p><p> </p><p>“The fact that it took them so long…” Maya scoffs. “I should’ve looked for her, I should’ve tried to find her.”</p><p> </p><p>Andy frowns, “This is <em> not </em> your fault, Maya. There’s nothing you could’ve done. They knew what they were doing, they’re <em> professionals </em>. You couldn’t have found her.”</p><p> </p><p>“I should’ve tried.” Maya whispers.</p><p> </p><p>No one argues with her because they all know they won’t win.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Thirty</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Carina looks so peaceful as she sleeps.</p><p> </p><p>Maya simply cries because it terrifies her that this peace is going to end.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Thirty Two</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>“I blame you.” Maya admits.</p><p> </p><p>Andrew nods slowly, “I blame me too.”</p><p> </p><p>“She will always choose to save you.” Maya murmurs. “She will always put you first, even if it’ll get her killed. And it almost did.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maya, I’m sorry…”</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you apologizing to me?” Maya demands. “It’s your sister you need to apologize to. It’s your sister that I have to explain to that we were afraid she had been <em> sold</em>, that they were checking sex trafficking databases for her.”</p><p> </p><p>Andrew flinches, “Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“You traumatized her.” Maya hisses. “I don’t know how I’m going to pull her back from this one. They <em> beat </em>her. They...I could’ve lost her. If it was up to me, you’d never see her again.”</p><p> </p><p>“I understand…”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think you do.” Maya scoffs. “I’m so mad at you. I’m <em> so </em>mad. I know you were trying to do a good thing, but I wish you wouldn’t have gotten her caught up in this.”</p><p> </p><p>“I regret it.” Andrew admits. “I shouldn’t have. Not her. She’s...I won’t say we’ve always gotten along, but she’s always been there. She’s always taken care of me. And the one time she needed me, I failed her.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya licks her lips, “I know you already know this, but just so we’re clear, you’re not allowed to take her on anymore <em> adventures</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t.” Andrew assures her. “I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re gonna get her through this.” Maya breathes out, and Andrew simply nods. “I’m not sure how yet, but we are.”</p><p> </p><p>Andrew swallows hard, “I’m on her side. Always. Whatever you need, I’m there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” Maya whispers.</p><p> </p><p>And for now, it’s enough.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Thirty Three</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s all a waiting game now.</p><p> </p><p>While Carina’s injuries aren’t lift threatening, both Bailey and Amelia remind Maya that Carina’s mind is bound to be exhausted. Everyone filters in and out, most pass on well wishes and offer coffee while others simply check Carina’s vitals and then excuse themselves. Maya sits as close to the bed as her chair will allow with her fingers twisted over Carina’s wrist, searching silently for her pulse. Her eyes remain on Carina’s face, and she takes in every gentle feature and watches the soft twist of her girlfriend’s mouth as she dreams. She’s so <em> beautiful </em>. And all Maya can do is simply take it all in.</p><p> </p><p>“You know I’m impatient.” Maya mumbles as she squeezes Carina’s wrist softly. “I miss you. So much. I can’t wait to see you, to look into your eyes. Everyone is waiting, babe.”</p><p> </p><p>And then Carina’s fingertips twitch and her hand moves, and Maya goes rigid. She doesn’t dare take a breath, just watches closely as Carina’s eyes slowly open. A cry slips from her, halfway between a complete expression of relief and exhaustion; the tears begin to build, but she blinks them away furiously, not wanting her vision to be blurred. No matter what state Carina wakes in, Maya silently vows to look after her, do whatever she can to make her better. Amelia has warned her she needs to be sure what she’s taking on, the list of emotional trauma extensive, but as soon as Carina stirs Maya knows that she’ll provide her with whatever care is necessary to her recovery without a shadow of a doubt.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, baby.” Maya whispers.</p><p> </p><p>Carina winces, “Maya?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, you. I’m here.” Maya whispers as she scatters kisses along Carina’s hand. “Never follow your brother like that again. How could you do that? You...stupid, inconsiderate, brave, gorgeous, wonderful…”</p><p> </p><p>Carina laughs sleepily, “Ouch.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya shakes her head as she leans down to press her lips softly against Carina’s, lingers to breathe her in. After a moment, she pulls back and rests their foreheads together as their noses brush slowly. Carina manages a smile, it pulls on the corners of her mouth and Maya swallows around the lump in her throat. Carina’s eyes seem slightly out of focus when they flutter open fully, but she still manages to lift a hand to brush along Maya’s cheek. Immediately, Maya leans into it as she sucks in a breath and calms the anxiety in her chest.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m okay.” Carina murmurs.</p><p> </p><p>“No you’re not.” Maya scoffs with an exhausted roll of her eyes. “Look at you, babe.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine. I promise, bella.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya weakness further at the term of endearment, feels her entire being melt. Carina allows a tired breath to fall from her lips as she reaches up to guide a pinch of blonde behind her girlfriend’s ear. At the touch, Maya smiles and drops soft kisses against Carina’s nose, moves them across her cheeks while her girlfriend arches into them. With slight hesitation, Maya pulls back and allows her eyes to dance over Carina’s exhausted expression.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you.” Maya hums.</p><p> </p><p>Carina grins lovingly, “I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>And finally, Maya feels like she can breathe again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Thirty Seven</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Maya doesn’t talk when Carina’s room is filled to the brim with people. She doesn’t laugh or engage. She simply sits and stares, and feels all of it fester low in her gut.</p><p> </p><p>She’s a bomb just waiting to explode.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Forty Two</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Carina is talking about charts and how bad jello is when that bomb inside her chest finally reaches its countdown. One moment, Carina is pouting and glaring at her abandoned treat and the next she’s reaching for Maya as her girlfriend sits and hyperventilates. All the different scenarios of <em> what could’ve been </em> play like a loop in her head; even though Carina is <em> right here</em>, it just doesn’t seem like the last two days are real. How can they be? How could it all have ended so easily? But it’s over and Carina is reaching for her, holding her hand tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Maya…” Carina breathes out.</p><p> </p><p>Maya shakes her head, “No.”</p><p> </p><p>“Bella, come here.” Carina pleads as she tugs at her girlfriend’s hand. “Please, bella. Will you please just come here?”</p><p> </p><p>“Carina…”</p><p> </p><p>“Come here.” Carina orders as she gestures to the space beside her. “Come up here.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya slowly climbs onto the bed beside her and tries to decide where to put her hands, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You won’t.” Carina assures her.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” Maya whispers as she folds into Carina, presses her nose into the crook of her neck. “I’m so sorry, babe. I’m so sorry that it took me, took <em> them, </em>so long to find you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Look at me.” Carina hums as she presses a finger to Maya’s chin to raise her head. “How could this possibly be your fault, my love? I chose to go with Andrea, and I know you don’t want to hear it but I have no regrets.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya winces because she knew Carina was going to feel that way, she knew her girlfriend couldn’t possibly regret helping her brother. The two lay in silence as Maya ran the tips of her fingers along the tight material of Carina’s cast and along her bare skin. Maya studies Carina carefully, takes in each line and blemish and revels in the fact that she actually <em> can </em>look at her. She doesn’t even realize she’s crying till Carina is lifting a hand to slowly wipe away a tear trailing along her cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t cry, bella.” Carina pleads.</p><p> </p><p>Maya shakes her head and drops her forehead to rest lightly against Carina’s as her eyes flutter shut. With a sigh, Maya ducks herself forward and brushes a gentle kiss over Carina’s lips. As soon as she pulls away, she goes back in. The gentle pressure Carina meets her with makes her melt and the tears come harder as her hand lifts to cradle her girlfriend’s jaw and pull her just a little closer. Carina whines against her mouth and struggles in the bed, and Maya feels her heart break when nails push into her side as if to hold her close; for a moment she forgot that Carina must need this as much as she does.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.” Maya pants as she pulls away and rests their heads together. “I thought...I was so scared I was going to lose you, and I didn’t think I’d be able to kiss you again. I just don’t want to stop. I’m sorry, and…”</p><p> </p><p>Carina cuts her rambles short by going in for another kiss; it’s tentative, her lips barely moving as she lingers just a breath away. For a moment, they simply stare at each other. Just for a second, they take each other in. Maya knows this isn’t allowed and she imagines Amelia is going to come break them up, send Maya packing with orders not to further wound Carina. But for right now, Maya is all too happy to trade light kisses and gentle nose nudges.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you.” Maya whispers.</p><p> </p><p>Carina smiles against her lips, “I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is this okay?” Maya asks softly.</p><p> </p><p>“You? Here? With me?” Carina frowns, and Maya gives a slow nod. “Yes. It’s perfect, bella. It’s all that I need.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya sighs as she rests their foreheads together and stays there; here, with Carina close, everything seems a little easier. So, before she’s forced out of this hospital bed, Maya curls into Carina and holds her close. They’re safe, they’re here. And that’s all she needs.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Forty Five</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, you ready to go?”</p><p> </p><p>Amelia glances away from the window, “Hm?”</p><p> </p><p>“You haven’t gone in?” Link frowns.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just...giving them a minute.” Amelia shrugs as she looks back to the window. “I think they kind of need it.”</p><p> </p><p>Link follows Amelia’s eyeline to where Maya is stretched out against Carina’s side, and the two seem to be worlds away as they mumble quietly to each other. Before them, Maya is seemingly hanging on every one of Carina’s words as she nods along and barely blinks. One of her arms is raised and gentle fingertips trip slowly over Carina’s cheek as she rambles. Whatever Carina is saying causes Maya’s lips to lift, her blue eyes shining as she tilts her head back with a laugh. After a moment, Carina guides her head back down and presses their lips together in a kiss that only lasts a breath before they go back to their soft conversation.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nice, the beginning.” Link hums as he wraps his arms around Amelia’s waist. “When you’re completely in love.”</p><p> </p><p>Amelia leans back against him and glances up at his smile, “Something tells me the two of them are a little different. I don’t think there will ever be an end to their beginning.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think you might be right.” Link chuckles.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on.” Amelia sighs as she pulls his arms from around her. “Let’s leave them alone, I’ll catch up with her tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>Link glances back to see the couple share a soft kiss, “They’re one of the lucky ones, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Amelia whispers. “They are.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Hour Forty Eight</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Carina is dreaming. Maya is pulled from her light sleep when she hears a whimper, and she sits up quickly when she realizes it’s Carina. Standing on wobbly knees, Maya moves to the bed and pressed her hands to the bed railing as she softly calls her girlfriend’s name; she’s afraid to touch her, afraid to frighten her. But when Carina’s heart rate changes, Maya tosses her fears aside and reaches out with gentle hands to cup her face as she tries to pull her back to reality. Finally, Carina comes out of her nightmare with a sharp gasp that is mused with a sob as her wide eyes dart around the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Shh, you’re okay.” Maya assures her. “I’m here, baby. You’re okay. Just breathe. That’s it, you’re okay. I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina shakes her head, “I’m not okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya doesn’t know what to say, she doesn’t think there’s a single word that could truly comfort Carina right now. With a sigh, Maya climbs onto the bed and helps Carina carefully situated herself into a comfortable position pressed into her side. Maya feels Carina’s tears warming her skin, the soft fall of tears dancing along the crook of her neck and into the dip of her shoulder. Carina sniffles for a moment before a small sob slips free, and the moment Maya tightens her grasp, Carina lets go. Her cries are painful and tear at the depths of Maya’s heart; every heartbreaking sob just causes the anger and sadness to multiply.</p><p> </p><p>Carina grasps at the frabric of Maya’s jacket and cries. Maya doesn’t know how long it lasts, nor does she care. Her hands drag along Carina’s back, weave into her soft hair, and catch as many tears as they can. She doesn’t try to calm Carina down, she just lets her feel what she needs to; right now, Maya knows the <em> actual </em>trauma hasn’t even boiled to the surface. After sobs become pitiful sniffles, Carina lifts her head and Maya is struck dumb over how effortlessly beautiful her girlfriend always seems to be. Even now, red rimmed eyes and puffy skin, she’s absolutely stunning.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi.” Carina whispers.</p><p> </p><p>Maya gives a sad half smile, “Hi, baby.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. For…” Carina makes a vague gesture to the small wet spot she left on Maya’s grey t-shirt. “<em>That.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t apologize.” Maya orders. “Never apologize for feeling, okay? Especially feeling this. This was <em> a lot,</em> Carina. It’s okay to cry.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina shakes her head, “I’ve never been so scared in my entire life. Being tied up and...and being with them…”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to tell me anything.” Maya assures her. “I know you’ve already been through it with the police.”</p><p> </p><p>Carina eyes her, “But you want to know too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not if it causes you pain.” Maya scoffs. “Babe, if ignoring it and moving on is how you want to deal with this then I completely understand.”</p><p> </p><p>“You want to know too.” Carina repeats.</p><p> </p><p>Maya hesitates, “If you want to tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya isn’t entirely sure she <em> really </em>wants to hear about what happened. She doesn’t know if she can stomach it. Amelia gave them all small details, just what she overhead while helping stitch Carina up, and it was enough to keep Maya from dreaming for a good while. She’s afraid to dream, afraid that real life will leak into her only escape and try to ruin every version of Carina it can get it hands on. But Maya also knows Carina needs to talk, and she knows she needs to be the one who listens. So, she quietly resides herself to do just that, even if it breaks her heart entirely.</p><p> </p><p>Carina curls into Maya’s chest, “They hit Andrea, and took me down to their car. They told me if I brought any attention to myself that they would kill whoever tried to help me.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya watches the way Carina seems to disappear into her thoughts, it’s like she’s reliving it all over again. With a gentle touch, Maya presses her hand to Carina’s cheek and guides her head upward so she can meet her gaze; she needs Carina to stay <em> here</em>, she needs to know she isn’t stuck back in that horrible memory. After a moment, Carina seems to settle and she pulls away from Maya’s touch in favor of ducking back into the crook of her shoulder as she reaches down to take her hand.</p><p> </p><p>“They took me to a house, and they tied me up. They took pictures.” Carina whispers. “They asked me to smile and I refused, and they kept calling me stubborn.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya laughs softly, “That’s my girl.”</p><p> </p><p>“They were so <em> angry</em>.” Carina swallows hard, as she looks to Maya’s fingers. “They told me nice people would pay good money for me, that my pretty face would sell well.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, baby.” Maya sighs.</p><p> </p><p>“I bit him.” Carina admits with a proud smile. “I didn’t appreciate the way he held my face so I decided to show him who is my boss.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya grins softly, “It’s you showed him who was the boss.”</p><p> </p><p>“I like that much better, yes.” Carina nods with a furrowed brow. “He hit me, and then his friend hit me too. The lady that Andrea and I were following got upset.”</p><p> </p><p>The anger and frustration sits low in Maya’s gut, but twists angrily through her expression. If there was a way to get her hands on those <em> men </em>then Maya would make sure they left everything Carina did plus some. The fact that someone could lay a cruel hand on the woman in her arms completely baffles her; this woman is precious, she’s one of the gentlest people that Maya has ever known. With a hard swallow, Maya ducks her head and presses a soft kiss to Carina’s hair as her girlfriend presses closer to her. She can see the memories playing in Carina’s expression, and it breaks her heart.</p><p> </p><p>“I...I didn’t know what to do so I stayed quiet, and just waited.” Carina admits. “I waited for someone to come, for you to come.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya breathes out a shaky sigh, “I’m so sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?”</p><p> </p><p>“For not being there…”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, bella. You were.” Carina frowns. “You were the reason I never gave up, I held on for you. For the life we have. I held on because I knew you’d find me.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya blinks away her tears, “I always will, and I know...I know we can’t make promises about the future. I mean, there’s no way we can control anything, nor do I want to…”</p><p> </p><p>Carina hums softly, “Neither would I. Because if I could then I don’t think I would’ve ended up here with you and that breaks my heart.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Maya nods as she swallows hard. “But I do promise that I’m going to love you until the end of my life, and I promise you that I’m going to appreciate every day we have together. I’m never going to take another moment with you for granted, Carina.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you, Maya.” Carina whispers.</p><p> </p><p>Maya licks her lips, “I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>Maya knows these forty eight hours could’ve ended differently, but as she kisses Carina’s forehead and waits for her to fade off into a more peaceful sleep, she’s so glad that they didn’t. They have a long road ahead of them, but she’s ready to be there for every step. For the first time in forty eight hours, there’s no anxiety as she waits patiently for Carina to wake up. </p><p> </p><p>This time, she doesn’t mind the wait at all.</p>
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